Love is an Ever Changing Thing

I’ve sobbed, I’ve cried, I’ve raged, and I’ve been morose. Sometimes I’ve thought I was like the girl from the link below.

I’ve Lost All Faith in Love. Am I Doomed to Be Alone Forever? I have this fear of being alone forever and sometimes I wonder if I’m doomed to be single forever…and I hate the idea of being alone. I’ve lost all faith that I will find somebody. – from the blog of Evan Marc Katz

I thought I’d never love again. I’m no longer the dopey eyed school girl who thinks life will end if the boy doesn’t like me. If he doesn’t call, my life isn’t over. I can just move on. I thought often that I’d become too hardened to ever feel, but I realize now that I still feel. It’s different. It’s a fresher aliveness I have in me now. My love no longer destabilizes me. I can stand and still love.

I’ve been told that to love someone means to lay your life down for that person. To give of yourself and make sacrifices. But those never come out even. One person always ends up making the sacrifice, becoming the lamb, while the other is holding the blade. Call me jaded if you want, but it seems that in this 50 + 50 = 100% equation, if one person gives up more, then the other balances by taking more and giving less. If the sacrificing person holds their ground then a relationship can happen. Give and take. Both. No one needs to lose their heart in a blood sacrifice. Stand tall. Love is still in you. This is a new day with a new type of love.

A lot can happen between now and never. If you want to build a better home, first you must demolish the old one. – Game of Thrones

Demolish the old life. Build a new one. Love again, just don’t do it the way you did it before. You’re not the person you were before and your love won’t be either.

A confident woman knows she holds all the cards in the relationship. If she doesn’t like the way he texts, calls, communicates, kisses, or commits, she can dump him at any time. – Evan Marc Katz