I drew a monster. Such a cute monster. He looked like a puff ball with legs. His sleeves and leggings didn’t match. He was hiding his eyes too. His name is You Embarrass Me and he thinks I talk too much and help too much. He tells me I need to shut up. According to The Fluent Self, our monsters are really there to help us. They help us protect ourselves so we don’t get hurt. They curb our excesses. This morning I noticed You Embarrass Me. What does he want? I’m sorry little guy. I didn’t mean to embarrass you or to put you out front like that.
Why was I am embarrassed? I angered someone. I said the wrong thing. And it bothered me. Sometimes people push my buttons. Sometimes they rub my fur the wrong way. It’s going to happen and it’s not predictable. Sometimes I get over involved. I try to set things right, fix the problem and I make the situation worse. If I take a step back, everything calms down. I don’t have to change others, either their opinions or their lives. When I feel the unable to set things right, when I think someone sees my stumbling, my imperfections, I want to hide. Dig a hole and crawl into it. The urge to hide in shame because I goofed up once again, or I said something callous is so strong that I know You Embarrass Me is close at hand. At that moment, I know it’s time to stop. Sit down.
This was helpful for me, Seven Ways to Push Through Embarrassment.
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[…] If I asked you if you wanted my old shoes that I threw out by the dumpster, you would feel completely uncaring and uninterested. You’d most likely scoff at me and say No! And that’s the way it should be. That’s healthy. Yes we care. If others ask, I will help. If I offer and they say no, I won’t push. I won’t worry afterward and I will continue on with my responsibilities. When I feel myself getting too involved, I come back to this space and I name my monster. A great big hug to my little yellow friend “You Embarrass Me.” I appreciate him so much. See, You Embarrass Me. […]
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