Old Shoes

Caroline Myss talks in her books about being caught up in someone else’s drama or emotionally invested in someone. That person has power over us. Not knowingly always, but if they cooperate we are happy, and if they don’t cooperate, we are angry. That is no way to live. It leaves no space or energy for me to be me or to enjoy my life. I’m too busy being angry to watch a good movie. I can’t get over their attitude. If you want to know when you’re not invested in another or under their spell, you run a test. Caroline described it like this, if there was an envelope addressed to me and you were told to deliver it, you might be curious about what’s in it, but the feeling would be mild. If you knew it had $100.00 in it, though, you most likely would be craving it. That’s the feeling of being over-invested in someone else’s life.

If I asked you if you wanted my old shoes that I threw out by the dumpster, you would feel completely uncaring and uninterested. You’d most likely scoff at me and say No! And that’s the way it should be. That’s healthy. Yes, we care. If others ask, I will help. If I offer and they say no, I won’t push. I won’t worry afterward, and I will continue with my responsibilities. When I feel myself getting too involved, I come back to this space, and I name my monster. A great big hug to my little yellow friend “You Embarrass Me.” I appreciate him so much. See, You Embarrass Me.

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Author: janetkwest

Janet West has been a writer since the late 1990s. When someone asked, "If nothing were impossible, what would she do?" The answer was automatic. Write. When she crafted her ideas into words, she felt alive. Her early writing years were in child development magazines, but now her interests have expanded. Although the love of learning and teaching is still the core of who she is.

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