Earlier today I had a wonderful thought and I was going to write about it. Something about perspective. I’ve done other things since then and the incredible thought floated off to lost thought heaven. Or wherever good thoughts go when they die. Or get lost. Maybe it will reincarnate into an ever more so incredible thought. I don’t know if I will recognize it, since I don’t remember the earlier one.
I’m not the best at holding a thought anyway. They’re slippery. If I don’t write them down or remember them, what would happen to all the thoughts I think throughout the day? Would I use them anyway? Are they there in me already therefore I think of them or are they floating around like gnats that have to be captured to keep them? I guess I haven’t really thought of it so much before. Speculating here, but if the thought is mine already and I don’t write it down would I keep it?
Tenacious. I want new ideas and new truths so much that I refuse to let anything drop. I ruthlessly want it, but I know I should relax. I can’t imagine relaxing. All that is in me wants to grab hold of ideas and wisdom. I need to learn. I need life. It is the part of my personality that is eager and likes to run ahead, but also gets caught up in an idea and lingers, exploring the various parts.Writing Like Mad. I think I just got lost in my own thoughts.
Do you remember the old televisions from the 1970’s with the picture tube inside? It was before digital, so I’m telling my age. When I was young, we had this television that the picture would start rolling up like the credits on a movie. You’d bang it really hard with your hand on the side to get it to stop. Smack it. Our TV was dented on the side.
A very caveman way of handling a piece of equipment.
Today that wouldn’t work. Our televisions are now electronics, with circuit boards. Hit it like that and you’ll hurt your hand on the hard plastic and knock loose a circuit. Won’t fix anything. You have to know your equipment.
We also had an old Chevy truck. It had a choke that you opened. Just a knob that you pulled out on the dashboard. You pumped the gas pedal to let a bit of fuel into the engine. Then you could start the truck. Oh the joys of vehicles before fuel injection. If you knew your truck, you knew from experience how many times to pump the pedal. If you did too many, you’d flood the engine and have to wait 10 or so minutes for the fuel to trickle out. Too few and the truck wouldn’t start. In these beautiful days of fuel injection there is no worry of this. No chokes to pull. No cranks to turn. Please don’t pump the pedal. Just start your car.
We have to know our equipment.
Whether it’s a car or a television. Know what you’re dealing with. If you have a classic vehicle it will handle differently than a newer sports car or even a normal sedan. You might not break the thing but you won’t be driving it at it’s best. You probably won’t appreciate it for its own beauty.
I would hope you wouldn’t treat a newborn baby like a mostly grown teenage boy. Once when I was teaching 1 to 2-year-old class in a church setting, one of the children came in very distraught. With a red face and tears all pouring out her eyes, she was clinging to her mom. For this little girl it was unusual. Some kids go through this normally but not her. Mom was becoming hysterical herself. She said she didn’t know what to do. That her daughter had started being “rebellious” soon after mom had went back to work. My first thought was Rebellious? The whole thing was so obvious. The girl wanted her mom. Her schedule changed. During the week, she’d been forced (from a child’s perspective) to stay with people she didn’t know and now Mommy was leaving her again. She only wanted the comfortable spot on her mom’s lap. Rebellion requires a much more developed mind than a 2-year-old has. Even the so-called terrible twos are not really rebellion, just checking out where the boundaries are.
If you know what’s normal, it’s easier to know when things are not right. If you know what’s normal for your personality it’s so much easier to help yourself in a difficult time. I was once concerned with being too cocky, too proud. I had it repeated in my formative years that God hates a proud heart. Pride goes before a fall. Me, being the compliant child that I was, tried diligently to not be proud. For a compliant child that meant never bragging or talking about achievements. And loads of guilt for thinking anything positive about myself.
Who of us hasn’t been there? We have to understand who we are. I’m speaking only from my perspective at this time since it’s currently the only one I really know. I realize your perspective is different and I don’t mean at all to leave you out of the conversation. I would like to hear your experience also.
I was sitting on the floor with my favorite yoga lady one day. We were talking about food and books we enjoyed. She remarked that I seemed very Vata-Vata. Basically if you don’t know of the Indian Doshas, Vata is the air-like, ether-like personality. All dreamland and spirituality. My Vata-ness was showing I guess.
I had tried recently and in the past many times to eat lighter. More fruits and raw vegetables. This goes along with the advice of all the super knowledgeable people out there. The diet leaves me cold, physically and mentally. I realize to these experts, lightening up seems right. For me I crave potatoes and cooked carrots. Warm oatmeal with toast and jam. Warm tea. I seldom crave a pop. Occasionally yes it hits the spot but not everyday. Too much activity and caffeine makes my head spin. Energy drinks give me a headache. So when people recommend these things I just nod at them and realize I probably need to do the opposite.
All up in the air.
I often listen to the wrong advice it seems. They recommend that we as people need more spirit. More meditation. So I try. They say we need to visualize. Okay, no problem. Then my head hurts. Suddenly, I understood what my yoga teacher had tried to tell me and what others have said, that I’m wired backward. I need more physical not spiritual training. I’m at home in the temple praying. But take me to the swimming pool or the ski slopes and I’ll run away scared. She said I was all up in here (as she waved her hands in the air). I needed to learn to come back into my body. To live in my body and stay at home there.
So when they say I need to control my anger, I have to pause. Back up and reverse. Me, I tend to hold my tongue too long. I think about everything I say. I think twice or three times about all my silly emails and Facebook posts. Things like holding my tongue? Seriously I really need to speak up more, not less.
So now when you get advice, take it into consideration, but also know your own nature. Is it just adding a gag along with the muzzle? Duct taping over the superglue? Redundant redundancy? Or is it helpful?
I have a theory. It’s just a thought I’m currently pondering..that there may be only one impossibility. Complete stillness. Look around you. Everything changes, but not only on the earth or in the sky but in spirit also.
If “In the beginning…the earth was without form and void…,” would that mean it was not focused? Maybe it was constantly changing. If quantum physics is the new science, it would mean
If quantum physics is the new science, it would mean everything is a possibility and that nothing is focused, until we choose to focus its potential in a fixed way. At that point, all other possibilities have been eliminated. But even at that point, it still is changing and deconstructing.
What I know is so limited, which is why I call it a theory. We are aware of a range of vibrations in energy, ranging from matter such as diamonds and rocks all the way to the ethereal range of thoughts and possibilities, even spirits and angels. In the writing of this, I have formed something. I have focused my theory and it is no longer floating and jangling around in my head, torturing me and keeping my mind busy. It has now located and has lit itself upon this screen as words that can be read by you and me. I find that quite fascinating.
Now to ponder upon God and his/her infinite possibilities and limitless reach; and also his/her complete wholeness as the Unmoved Mover. I would love to hear your thoughts and arguments. Namaste.
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