I find it in funny that I don’t like constriction but I do like guidelines. Sometimes those two are confusing to me. Where is the line? The difference isn’t easy to see. Maybe constriction is not as forgiving. There’s no understanding of why I do something. Just do or don’t. The sense of doom of being squeezed and there’s no way out. You must be here until we release you. Freedom calls to me. I’m pounding on the door and wiggling the handle.
Let me out!
Guidelines are more give and take. Your responsibilities are listed. You know they have to be done, but there is some forgiveness. Vast emptiness with no structure, makes it hard for me to know where I stand. A blank open room. A face with no emotion. I find it difficult to talk to people on the phone because there’s no facial expressions. Did they understand me?
We are more comfortable if a room has some type of identifying items. A bed and a dresser lets you know this is a sleeping area. The sink and the toilet tells you to clean up. Those are guidelines. You could sleep in the bathtub. You could also eat breakfast in bed or a midnight snack. It’s just a guideline.
Why and when do guidelines become constriction? If you were ever grounded to your bedroom as a child, you’ll be able to think of one instance. Suddenly, the very room you loved so much seems like a prison. It doesn’t matter if there’s a television and a computer, the very fact that you can’t leave that room makes it unbearable. As an adult all I want sometimes is to be told to go to my room. Please, let me sleep. I know also that if I became sick all I would want is get well and go back to work. I’m such a fickle person!
Do I have a purpose for my life? Are there guidelines? Rules or constrictions? How much is too much is up to me. Only I can decide how many rules make me uncomfortable.