I had trouble acclimating to society as a child. My first years were cloistered away from people. When I was a baby, our family moved to land outside of town Dad had purchased. It was a hundred acres of what people call bottomland because it ran alongside a muddy twisting river. It was wild —with pecan trees and close-growing oaks and elms. Parts of it flooded and stayed a swamp until the rain stopped.

Because of the drop-off looking down to the river and Mom’s perpetual fear of losing me, she tried to keep me close, to protect me. I understand. Children are good at finding trouble even in the city. But I think the protection made leaving her side painful when Kindergarten and Primary years came.

School has an atmosphere, its own set of rules. I didn’t understand their RULES. And none of the rules were the ones I understood. Hurrying to eat, getting into lines, making friends. #Conforming #Force

It felt like wearing shoes that were too tight. I knew animals and my brothers. I went into a shell and was shy for several years.

I don’t think I have a great gift.
It isn’t just talent. You have to have something
else. You have to have a kind of nerve. It’s mostly a
lot nerve, and a lot of very, very hard work.

– Georgia O’Keeffe

Sometimes, I think back to those days and wonder if they were the only moments in my life when I was truly me. But I know that I was the raw truth then. Today I am a variant, but I’m me.