Before you repaint your living room, my advice is to always get a big enough sample to try out on the real wall at home. When I was redecorating my home, I picked out many different colors and had difficulty deciding. And some of the colors I’d picked, thinking they would be just right, weren’t just right. In the light of my home they all grayed out. I have a lot of Oak and Elm trees outside my window filtering the light, leaving my place with a bit of a dark look. I like it because for me it’s relaxing, but for picking out colors it’s tedious. I finally chose a Cornbread Yellow and yes, it seems incredibly bright in the store, but not on my walls. It’s sunny. Cheerful.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
People, including myself, say often, “I would never do that” or “It won’t happen to me.” *cough* Like picking out a swatch of paint to repaint their place, they are looking from their own perspective and critiquing. And somehow if they do get in a similar circumstance they start justifying their actions. Well, I had to divorce, punch them in the face, have an affair or run the red light, and in their current situation they’re probably right. They didn’t intend to hurt anyone. It just happened. Their perspective and lighting changed.
“When a problem is disturbing you, don’t ask, “What should I do about it?” Ask, “What part of me is being disturbed by this?”
― Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself
Walk a mile in my shoes.
In my city there’s a rapist and he’s already molested six women. This shit scares me. Friday night I started researching security measures and decided I wasn’t up for my usual jogging bit. I thought I’d wait until I get some personal protection and maybe run in a more public place. Precautions. Sensible and methodical. Or so it seemed. I sat on my couch Friday night in a total panic, feeling waves of terror go through me. In the daylight, when morning came, I rethought some of my decisions. I’m overreacting and being completely silly or so I thought in the light of day. At this moment, as I’m typing this, I know that both of these are right. I’m both terrified and calm. And I want the security system which I used to bash and think was silly. I need it because part of me is afraid.
If you’re struggling with an emotion or a decision, try looking from someone else’s perspective. It won’t change how you feel immediately but it can help you understand why you are feeling what you feel. Then just feel it.
Recommended Read: The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer