Do you ever wonder about your own weirdness? Those quirky things we do, like the way we cheer for the underdog. Or we want the crook caught. I wonder about mine. I know I’m not alone with my quirks. So I thought I’d mention some that I’ve noticed in myself as well as others. Our quirks in common.

Why do women try to fix people? Men especially. We see a disheveled boy/man and we want to take him in. Just like a lost puppy. And then we feel disappointment when he pees on our carpet. It’s a crazy world out there. The sooner we realize our tendencies, the healthier we are. If we don’t want the puppy chewing up our new red shoes, maybe we shouldn’t let him follow us home. I guess that would be the wiser thing to do. But we enjoy the cuddly phase. And that puppy smell is intoxicating. The moment we find him all splattered with mud, we pick him up and carry him home. We bandage him and hold him tight. Our love rescues him. Once again we see our worth. We show our strength. Our love conquers all. But maybe that’s an oversimplification. Not all women have this complex.

We all love stories. The sadder, the more outrageous, the better. We can listen to someone’s ailment or how they feel mistreated by their spouse. We get involved in the other’s life and story. We feel their pain and their joy. What makes us addicted to sad stories so much that we’ll get just as outraged at another’s injustice even if we just saw it on the news? Do you find it silly? I find it draining.

Intelligence impresses me and I often mistake the spouting of facts as intelligence. Most of us idolize people who comb their hair just right or say clever things. And we know it’s all fake. We get advice from people just because they made a TV show. Are we that lost? It’s difficult to believe that the Dugger family know any more about child rearing than any other parent. Or the Kardashians can give me beauty advice.

The only way I see to stop repeating the same tendencies is to recognize that they aren’t working. I could resist kissing on the cute puppy. NO CUTE PUPPIES. I could refuse to acknowledge my attraction to people who need help, but resistance will just create a bigger need inside. It is better if can take a good look at my attraction. See it for what it is. It’s my craving. Whether I give in or not, is not important. I think it’s worse to walk into a relationship blinded by your romanticism and think it’s the guy of your dreams, the one who will save you from your despair and loneliness. And when you wake up and see his attention wandering or like the puppy, peeing on the carpet, you act surprised. He was that person from the start. You just put a hero costume on him, because you needed him to play the hero for you.

It’s difficult to remember these things in the middle of an enchantment. It’s so easy to get caught up in the thrill of dating and weddings. There’s so much energy. So much excitement. Sparkle and shine. And all the friends and family encouraging you,  keep you from noticing the flaws. Cracks in the wall. Chipping paint. Mold growing along the baseboard. We’ve found our perfect man. Our hero is a fixer-upper. How long until we wear out  from constantly repairing the leaking ceiling?

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