I’m Not Good

For goodness’ sake is an old phrase we’ve probably all heard. Being good, what does it mean? And by being good, am I denying myself in order to placate someone else? This is all my opinion, but being good seems like a false idea, devised to keep people in their place. Good people are controllable. Do you see powerful males being good? Or hungry female lions?

“For goodness’ sake”—an Elizabethan wouldn’t use the apostrophe as we’re required to—has its literal force here: “for the sake of goodness and decency.”

Here’s a line from a recent Doctor Who episode – Flatline

Clara:  I was the Doctor and I was good.

Doctor:  You were an exceptional Doctor, Clara …

Clara:  Thank you.

Doctor:  … goodness had nothing to do with it.

I once believe that if I was good, quiet and submissive, if I did what I was told to do, then I would be rewarded. It sounds like a kindergarten fairy tale. But that’s why the lie worked so well. It worked so well that we have CEO’s spouting it out in statements that women should trust the system…

On stage with Maria Klawe, president of Harvey Mudd College, Nadella was asked what advice he had for women in the tech industry who aren’t comfortable asking for a raise. Nadella replied in part: “It’s not really about asking for the raise but knowing and having faith that the system will actually give you the right raises as you go along. And that, I think, might be one of the additional superpowers that quite frankly women who don’t ask for a raise have, because that’s good karma. It’ll come back because somebody’s going to know that’s the kind of person that I want to trust, that’s the kind of person that I want to really want to give more responsibility to. And in the long term efficiency, things catch up.” – NBC News emphasis mine

Here’s Suzie Orman’s response,

Good Karma is not “what you get when you’re silent. Good Karma is what you get when you do what’s right in this world,”@SuzeOrmanShow. @CNN — OutFrontCNN (@OutFrontCNN) 

Let’s try being who we are. Let’s try honest living, by that I mean, honestly communicating to each other with honest statements. I like. I don’t like. I want. I don’t want. I need. I fear. I give. I take. Negotiating, asking, and working towards a goal trumps being good and hoping someone will notice. Always.

What Heals?

Just for kicks and giggles I’m going to bring up a subject that is often argued. In one corner stand the believers of the divine power. The religious and spiritual alike believe in the power of prayer, the real act. The words, the beads, the statues, the candles, the water and oil. In the other corner are the skeptics. Those that believe in medicine, in science, in studies and practice. They will tell you there is no god to answer that prayer and any help that is given, is given by people or the ill persons own psyche.

In reality these two sides merge and flow together each sharing their strengths. If only we knew the truth. Studies are done but still each side sees what they believed in originally. If it’s not god, then who? Or what? I think it all comes together if you’re standing in the right place.

The fruit of the spirit is …

Most Christians can quote this one. But what if it’s not talking about THE Spirit. What if this verse were referring to spirit in general, as opposed to flesh.

Galatians 5:22-23

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

We talk about our lizard brain as the control center for our baser self.  We eat, we drink, we sleep, we fulfill all of our lusts. But humanity has other parts also. A portion of our brain encourages us to communicate, to interact, to be generous. These qualities or attitudes are present when people receive prayer or loved ones are near. There is acceptance. There is love. There is this overwhelming feeling of not being alone and isolated. With acceptance comes healing.

There was a study done many years ago about newborns. Those that received touch as well as the needed nourishment, thrived. Grew stronger and healthier. Those that received their food and received only the bare minimum of touch, became weaker. as if they weren’t even fed at all. What can cause such a thing? Was it really the touching alone? The Experience of Touch

So if we want to encourage healing in those around us what do we need to do? Touching? Or praying? It is very possible that we as humans can’t separate our emotions from out actions. If you know you can’t be with someone or show them affection, you tend to avoid them completely. Sometimes we avoid thinking of them.

Another topic I want to explore in the future is WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO THRIVE? How do we thrive?

I agree with Jay McDaniel,  Amma: The Hugging Saint

What the world needs now is less religion and more hugging.  At least it needs less rigid religion, amid which religion becomes ideology; and it needs more compassionate hugging of the kind that nurses give patients in hospitals.


What are your Core Judgments? In your mind, what makes a person good or bad? Have you ever thought about it? You know the saying that your initial impression is usually right? Well, yes and no. Yes, it is true to your Core Judgement, but no, it may not be accurate for everyone.

Does it matter what type of car they drive? If a person drives an expensive car, are they rich or snooty? Is a person driving a beat up junker poor or frugal? One of my Core Judgments is cleanliness. I’m not a germ-phobic person but I like people who wash and who care about their physical appearance. My initial reaction to someone with body odor is repulsion. I admit that I’m a bit of a clothing snob also, and I tend to be impressed too quickly by someone who seems put together clothing and style-wise.

Now you know my dirty little secret, I’m curious, what is one thing you consistently notice about a person? You know you have one.