About Being Noble and My Many Questions – repost

This is a re-post from September 1, 2013, About Being Noble and My Many Questions. Some may remember it. After a tough week like this one, I needed to remind myself of this.

Who told me?

Who said I should be in the 6 a.m. meditation group? Do I know what is holy? Can I decide for the future what I should do, where I should go, with whom I should be, and still remain open to what is needed now? Am I quite sure I should answer every question? EXTRA : Care for some extra superpowers, The Fluent Self

Who told me that?

Do I know the consequences of even one word I write?

Who told me it is kind to laugh at every joke, be on time for every appointment, get less sleep and not more, keep certain thoughts to myself, always do what I have agreed? How can I know what the situation calls for when it is clearly impossible for me to see the whole situation? Do I claim no distortion in my perception? Why then torture myself about fulfilling every unexamined claim of conscience? Why not consider the alternative? That there is something within me that does know and I can hear that something more clearly in comfort than in guilt. Maybe I should ease up and let things be.

“No matter what we talk about, we are talking about ourselves”
― Hugh PratherI Touch the Earth, the Earth Touches Me

“I sometimes react to making a mistake as if I have betrayed myself. My fear of making a mistake seems to be based on the hidden assumption that I am potentially perfect and that if I can just be very careful I will not fall from heaven. But a ‘mistake’ is a declaration of the way I am, a jolt to the way I intend, a reminder I am not dealing with the facts. When I have listened to my mistakes I have grown.”
― Hugh Prather

This is from a page I wrote in 2005. I was reading from some of my journals and ran across this little piece and thought that it is just as relevant for me today as it was then. 

Get off your pedestal. You’re going to hurt yourself. 

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Who Is Real?

At first I thought you had two faces. but now I see one face is real and the other is just a lie. Do you believe that lie?

There was a time in my life that if someone told me their aspirations or beliefs, I didn’t look any farther. That was the person, the one they described to me. Now that I’ve had more experience in life, I realize the person screaming obscenities behind the smiling face is the true person.

I believe it was Maya Angelo that said, When someone shows you who they are, believe them. It’s a matter of training, or in my case, retraining my senses. At first it seems awkward. I see the two faces and I hear the voice speak that tells me they are kind and gentle and that I should believe them, and then there’s the punch in the face. Wow, where did that come from? Business leaders will promote new ideas. They’re for progress, the new style of management. Their employees are their greatest asset, they say. The want to allow their employees opportunity to grow. Then slowly, moment by moment, they take your privileges away. You’re called on the carpet for petty things. They look at you suspiciously and monitor your phones. Which to believe? Was it only the flavor of the month?

A spouse says they love you. They want to spend more time with you and can’t stand to be away from you. But they work late most nights and when they’re not working, they hole up in their office reading financial reports or playing video games. Hmmm, something isn’t syncing.

I think I’ve mentioned in the past that I tend to be a bit naive, trusting, accepting. I’m also a fairly adaptable person so I take on too much. I step up too tall and I stay too long. Which is fine if I’m with my friends. They know me and I know them. I feel free to say Not today or I’m not feeling well. And we all understand each other and allow the other person to bow out gracefully.

My problem isn’t that I didn’t see the actions or even know the person was lying. My problem is that I wanted it to be true. My emotions were involved. I cared. And that’s where my conundrum is. Do I not care anymore? I have no wish to become an ice queen. Caring is human. I have learned to isolate my caring to smaller and more trusted groups. I’ve learned to detach from caring if  I realize I’ve over invested.  With age comes experience and that grows into wisdom.

I no longer believe your lie.

Why Others Don’t Bow to Me

I’m important. Can’t they see that? If I’m driving and want to go faster, why don’t get out of my way. If I’m shopping and the line is long at the check out, a new lane should be opened and I should be first in line. After all I’m important.

We spend most of our lives feeling this way and suddenly it dawns on us that we aren’t important. Psychologist call this entitlement. Did they have entitlement in the Bronze ages? Or in the 1800’s? I know in our culture it’s huge.

The alternative, the truth you realize when you learn you’re not the center of the universe, is that life really doesn’t notice you. The ants keep working. The rain keeps pouring. The birds keep screeching. Life keeps moving. If anything, we are in it’s way.

44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. – Matthew 5:44-45 New International Version®, NIV®

I have to remind myself of this a lot. Especially when I’m in my car and the other drivers are in my way. It’s not personal. We are all travelling and we just happen to be on the same road.

 

About Being Noble and My Many Questions

0804-hrh-05-01Who told me?

Who said I should be in the 6 a.m. meditation group? Do I know what is holy? Can I decide for the future what I should do, where I should go, with whom I should be, and still remain open to what is needed now? Am I quite sure I should answer every question?

Who told me that?

Do I know the consequences of even one word I write?

Who told me it is kind to laugh at every joke, be on time for every appointment, get less sleep and not more, keep certain thoughts to myself, always do what I have agreed? How can I know what the situation calls for when it is clearly impossible for me to see the whole situation? Do I claim no distortion in my perception? Why then torture myself about fulfilling every unexamined claim of conscience? Why not consider the alternative? That there is something within me that does know and I can hear that something more clearly in comfort than in guilt. Maybe I should ease up and let things be.

“No matter what we talk about, we are talking about ourselves”
― Hugh PratherI Touch the Earth, the Earth Touches Me

“I sometimes react to making a mistake as if I have betrayed myself. My fear of making a mistake seems to be based on the hidden assumption that I am potentially perfect and that if I can just be very careful I will not fall from heaven. But a ‘mistake’ is a declaration of the way I am, a jolt to the way I intend, a reminder I am not dealing with the facts. When I have listened to my mistakes I have grown.”
― Hugh Prather

This is a page I wrote in 2005. I was reading from some of my journals and ran across this little piece and thought that it is just as relevant to me today as it was then. 

Get off your pedestal. You’re going to hurt yourself. 

In All Humility and Arrogance, I Say….


Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
I used to be foolish and believe what people told me. I do hope I have grown past that by now. Other’s have said that they could look people in the eye and tell what type of person it is. I don’t have that gifting I guess. All I see are blue or green and if they have cataracts. For me that is like looking under the hood of my car. I can stare all day at the oil dipstick and the battery cable but I can’t tell a darn thing about the vehicle and why it won’t start.

My way goes back to SHOW me who you are. Yes, people can fake it, but not for long. Something of who the real person is will leak out. I had an incident happen this week that reminded me of this. I was having a conversation with someone and they had said something but meant another, like “I went to Paris” when they meant to say “I went to France”. I was no big deal, but she was shocked, believing she SAID what she had THOUGHT, because obviously her brain doesn’t get her words mixed up. At that moment I received a very clear picture of that person. Here is a person who never faults herself. It’s not so much that she doesn’t think she is capable of error, more that she couldn’t see it. Do you know the time when you got that car, maybe the blue one because not too many people had a blue car and especially not the brand that you had. Then suddenly you see blue cars everywhere. You COULDN’T see them before, but now they are everywhere. In that way SHE couldn’t SEE that she could make an error and didn’t take it into consideration. In her thinking we heard her wrong. Hmmm, all 5 of us.

This is the difference, in my eyes, of arrogance and humility. The arrogant cannot SEE the flaws in their judgement. Their opinion is correct because THAT is all they see. To contrast, there are the humble. And to that extreme there are the self abasing humble people who need to see themselves as well as others. These are the ones who have been long considered low on self esteem and self conscious. Psychologist have been telling them they have a flaw and god know that they are aware of this and they cringe. They want to hide. They see their flaws and are very aware that of the errors of their ways.

It’s time for some moderation. It is good to see others and to give to them and be kind to them, but remember that there are the arrogant ones, who will never see you except to use you as an example or an icon to prove their “rightness.” You had best move out of their way and shut your doors. The arrogant won’t read this so I’m not talking to them because they know more than me anyway. So to the humble I say, Be good to yourself today. Show yourself some love and lock your doors.