A Generation Speaks

In the 1960s, I was a girl growing up in an age when women were burning their bras, superheroes could be female, Wonder Woman saved the day, and little girls dreamed of being police officers and moms.

—not looking to others for one's opinions or for guidance in conduct-“Independent.”

Shaped by their experiences in the late 1940s and 1950s, my parents had a way of making any hint of independence feel like a betrayal.

Their Rules, Their Plan

Their upbringing was a world away from mine, and while Dad took pride in the fact that his daughter didn’t have to work, he also placed a heavy burden of responsibility on my brothers. It was a complicated, reflecting the values and expectations of their time.

I was brainwashed to the expectations laid out before me. Education? Completely unnecessary. My reason for existing was to find a husband and raise children.

The church was first. Everything else was, no, no, no. My part-time work stints always got in the way of their freedom. I still had no car.

What would my future hold? I didn’t want to stay home all day with my mom as my father wished. I was eager to achieve something.

New is old and all is new

Dad raised me for a different era, his own. Aprons, babies, rocking chairs, and hanging out the laundry. Education, other than a typing class, was useless.

I helped a man build his business for twenty years, and now it’s only a notation on my resume.

My husband and I divorced in midlife. I had helped this man build his business for twenty years, but now it’s only a notation on my resume. Building a career takes time. Education and the esteem of your peers help. I started over, working minimum wage. My claws have dug in. And I’ve made it.

Generations

I understand my dad’s lack of foresight, but he still doesn’t understand me. He says he did his best. Maybe that’s true. He grew up in the time when men had to turn off their emotions and were unable to feel the needs of their offspring. They cared for the basic needs such as food, housing, and physical health.

I’m grateful for my children’s ability to care. I pray we don’t lose ground in areas of the heart. We are all valuable. Each deserves love and an identity. A chance to grow is a natural freedom belonging to all. Let’s not give it away.

Independent

in-də-ˈpen-dənt 
1
: not dependent: such as
a
(1)
: not subject to control by others : SELF-GOVERNING
(2)
: not affiliated with a larger controlling unit
an independent bookstore
b
(1)
: not requiring or relying on something else : not contingent
an independent conclusion
(2)
: not looking to others for one's opinions or for guidance in conduct-“Independent.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/independent. Accessed 23 Feb. 2025.