Why aren’t you writing? People, my good friends and family, ask me this sometimes, meaning my fiction writing. And god love them, they are only meaning to help me. But, I don’t know how to answer. It’s a difficult subject for me to even think about because it’s all swaddled in guilt and doubt. Why aren’t you writing your novel? Why aren’t you using all of your potential? Why aren’t you exercising? Why aren’t you saving lives or giving to the poor or funding a third world country? Because at the moment I am not motivated. And I want to be motivated.
“Here’s to the few who forgive what you do, and the fewer who don’t even care”
― Leonard Cohen
It could be that I’m lazy. I’m a procrastinator. I don’t want to give up my evening hours to sitting in front of a computer when I could be reading a good book or watching Netflix. It could be that I’m resisting and rebelling. Crossing my arms in defiance because I don’t have to. Shrug. It could be I just don’t want to at this moment. I’d be happy to never hear another motivational speech. I’m quite tired of reading articles about how to write 500 or 1000 words a day to achieve your goals. I guess I’ll write when I have found a desire to write.
One thing I know for sure, when I do decide to write my next novel, I will put in the hours. I will discipline myself and put my nose to the grindstone.
“I don’t consider myself a pessimist. I think of a pessimist as someone who is waiting for it to rain. And I feel soaked to the skin.”
― Leonard Cohen
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