Story Eater

Philadelphia Story

Stories are the way we navigate our world, our chance to make sense of who we are and what we do. -Seth Godin

I like TV shows. I love to get into a good story and the very best ones you can get so lost in them, you forget they aren’t real. I’ve watched so many that it’s hard to remember them all. Some are still going strong, some have ended whether gracefully or not. Doctor Who, 24, Lost, Supernatural, Sons of Anarchy, just to name a few. I’m not sure what captures my attention. It’s not all in the suspense. It’s not all in the realism. It’s really not in the looks or sex appeal of the actors. I’ve watched shows that didn’t cast the best looking, but by a few weeks into them you adored the character and the actor. There’s usually an emotional tug of war. You can feel their struggle, either with their own temptations or their failures. Sometimes they are weak, but yet there’s some part of them you relate to. All I know is they have sucked me into their drama.

I sometimes wonder if this life is like that. If there is an afterlife, maybe we will look back and say, that was a damn good story. It might be like walking out of the movie theater after an intense show. Everything else seems a bit unreal and you just want to run back in and watch the movie again. Yeah I can imagine that.

What do you want your story to say? What emotional flavor is it? Happy? Charming? Cozy? Horror? Eek. That one’s not for me. I have mine pictured in my head. Lots of golden lighting. I update it now and then. I see the person I want to be as I grow older and how I want to live my life. With a name like, Wisdom and Grace. Or Sunlight on Raindrops.

Here is an interesting look at charity as it relates to stories:

What do we get when we give to a good cause?

Why on earth would a rational person give money to charity–particularly a charity that supports strangers? What do they get?

A story.

In fact, every time someone donates to a good cause, they’re buying a story, a story that’s worth more than the amount they donated.

It might be the story of doing the right thing, or fitting in, or pleasing a friend or honoring a memory, but the story has value. It might be the story that you, and you alone are able to make this difference, or perhaps it’s the story of using leverage to change the world. For many, it’s the story of what it means to be part of a community. – Seth Godin

Seth’s  full blog is available if you follow the above link. Thanks for stopping by and being a part of my story..

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So Sensitive

How sensitive is your alarm? Too touchy? Or do you barely notice when someone disturbs your peace? Do you hear your friend sigh and wonder if you’re boring him? I have problems keeping my personal alarm calibrated. It’s got an electrical short I think. Let me explain.

Sometimes when I’m with someone else, someone I care about, I interpret their facial expressions. Shall I say misinterpret? Psychologists call this mind reading if it’s done in the extreme. I’m always trying to forecast if it’s the best day for an activity, because somehow I should know. I also try to predict how someone will feel before I’ve even asked them a question.

Over-prepared. Excessive. Like gluing and taping the envelope closed. overcompensation is what the true issue is. I feel vulnerable and incapable, so to make up for my insecurities, I overcompensate. Good girl scouts are prepared, right? I don’t like to look unprepared. Incapable. So I come prepared. I’ve read about every possible scenario and kick myself if I missed one. MapQuest, GPS, Google map or whatever it takes to confirm the correct directions.

What happens if I didn’t prepare? What if I allowed myself to run out of milk? Would the world stop? I’m learning to sit with that. Because my alarm system is set on a hair-trigger, I interpret every frown, sigh, or eye roll as displeasure. Another person’s displeasure is the enemy of my well-being.

Things I’ve learned:

  • Speak up when something isn’t right. Too warm or too cold? If you have a group then negotiate your needs. Don’t just let your needs slide for the sake of civility. Giving up your rights, sacrificing your needs does not make a peaceful environment. Letting your opinion be heard and negotiating a beneficial compromise.
  • Don’t turn your alarm off for the sake of peace. That’s not true peace, that’s a vacuum. Something or someone will fill that empty space. You are not the only one with those needs. There are probably one or two others who are thinking the same thing, but are too afraid to speak up. Awareness is the object. Letting someone else know they’ve crossed your boundary.
  • The opposite is also true. Extremely overbearing, no one’s going to stand in my way attitudes are as hindering in life as being to nice. Just because we can’t change the thermostat all the way down to 68°F when you are having a hot flash, doesn’t mean your needs aren’t important. Maybe we can handle it a different way.